


Screwed Up Nursery Rhymes: The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

by Fae_Eternal, Radioboi



Series: Sadistic Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales [1]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 06:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10270343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fae_Eternal/pseuds/Fae_Eternal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioboi/pseuds/Radioboi
Summary: This is the start to the series of more sadistic nursery rhymes and fairy tales. To begin a popular story about a woman who lived in an enlarged piece of clothing.





	

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# "The Old Woman Who Killed in the Shoe"

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    There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe, a raggedy shoe where the rent due. She had ten kids who would tussle and fight, her sanity seemed to disappear overnight. Her oldest named Jamison who was almost Twenty-two, liked to prank the family by covering their dinner chairs in glue. The Old Woman couldn’t take it anymore, so she cut off his head and buried it under the floor.

    The next victim was young Tommy, who liked to make faces and stick out his tongue. He’s annoying me too much the Old Woman thought in her head, so she cut off his tongue and put it in the bread.

    The next kid that went missing was little lardy Ben, who always played ball out in the yard. “Quit stepping on the flowers, stop running around!”, and to end all the wildness she put him 6-feet underground.

    Panic is arising in that raggedy little shoe, especially after the Old Woman killed Betty Blue. Betty is blind so she definitely can’t see and she bumped into the Old Woman’s favourite cup for tea. Betty walked into kitchen and bumped into her mother, who was far done from lovin’ so the Old Woman put poor Betty into the oven.

    Next was the middle child Marv, “Who is he?” the Old Woman asked, No one because Marv had starved.  
The poor twins were next, Jack and Jill who loved the thrill of running. Now the Old Woman’s murdering skills were becoming quite cunning! She took Jack to the balcony where the railing was quite narrow, she sounded a bird call and Jack was picked up by a sparrow. Jill came running to see if her brother could be found, the old woman tripped her as she passed and she went tumbling ten feet to the ground.

    Alison was for sure a goner after she left out her dolls, then her mother stepped on them when she traveled through the halls. “If you love little plastic blouses so much, then fine,” so she hacked up Alison with a knife and stuffed her in the little doll houses.

    Poor Lilith liked the dark but the Old Woman was now getting smart. She spilled her tea onto the girl and Lilith shook off the water with a whirl, she walked over the lamp cord without bolting, not noticing that she’d soon be jolting. She shook and fried all around in the dark of the hall, the only noise that was heard was Lilith’s electrified call.

    Lastly was Lucy the family’s infant whose digestive system was almost infinite, the Old Woman was tired so her mind began to fog so she accidentally fed baby Lucy to the dog.

    So that’s it for the children in that raggedy shoe, and it was the end of the month so the collector came for the rent that was due, she didn’t fret much all she did was grin, because she took out life insurance on all of her children


End file.
